Hi there and welcome to Baable. Baable is my personal collection of favorite famous quotes. Enjoy!

 

It is absurd to divide people into good and bad. People are either charming or tedious.

Whosoever shall not fall by the sword or by famine, shall fall by pestilence, so why bother shaving?

I can't understand why a person will take a year to write a novel when he can easily buy one for a few dollars.

I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start getting the urge to conquer Poland.

His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.

As the poet said, 'Only God can make a tree' -- probably because it's so hard to figure out how to get the bark on.

Organized crime in America takes in over forty billion dollars a year and spends very little on office supplies.

Eternal nothingness is fine if you happen to be dressed for it.

What if everything is an illusion and nothing exists? In that case, I definitely overpaid for my carpet.

It seemed the world was divided into good and bad people. The good ones slept better... while the bad ones seemed to enjoy the waking hours much more.

I don't want to achieve immortality through my work... I want to achieve it through not dying.

Not only is there no God, but try getting a plumber on weekends.

I took a speed reading course and read 'War and Peace' in twenty minutes. It involves Russia.

The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn like fabulous roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue center light pop and everybody goes awww!

Love, n - A temporary insanity curable by marriage.

Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me!

Fork, n. An instrument used chiefly for the purpose of putting dead animals into the mouth.

"Abroad, adh. At war with savages and idiots. To be a Frenchman abroad is to be miserable; to be an American abroad is to make others miserable."

CONSULT, v.i. To seek another's disapproval of a course already decided on

Politics, n. Strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles.

EDUCATION, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.

Barometer, n.: An ingenious instrument which indicates what kind of weather we are having.

PRAY, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.

There is nothing new under the sun but there are lots of old things we don't know.

Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.)

It may be that our role on this planet is not to worship God -- but to create him.

A conservative is a man who sits and thinks, mostly sits.

Every gun that is made, every warship launched, every rocket fired signifies in the final sense, a theft from those who hunger and are not fed, those who arecold and are not clothed. This world in arms is not spending money alone. It is spending the sweat of its laborers, the genius of its scientists, the hopes of its children. This is not a way of life at all in any true sense. Under the clouds of war, it is humanity hanging on a cross of iron.

I choose my friends for their good looks, my acquaintances for their good characters, and my enemies for their good intellects. A man cannot be too careful in the choice of his enemies.

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."

Consistency is the last refuge of the unimaginative.

I like persons better than principles, and I like persons with no principles better than anything else in the world.

Whenever a man does a thoroughly stupid thing, it is always from the noblest motives.

Anybody can sympathise with the sufferings of a friend, but it requires a very fine nature to sympathise with a friend's success.

Seriousness is the only refuge of the shallow.

To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity.

Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be wrong.

What is a cynic? A man who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing.

We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.

"Children begin by loving their parents; as they grow older they judge them; sometimes they forgive them."

The only thing to do with good advice is pass it on. It is never any use to oneself.

Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

I think that God in creating Man somewhat overestimated his ability.

Illusion is the first of all pleasures.

One should always play fairly when one has the winning cards.

If all the girls who attended the Yale prom were laid end to end, I wouldn't be a bit surprised.

I don't care what is written about me so long as it isn't true.

If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to.

This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

They are ill discoverers that think there is no land, when they can see nothing but sea

Take everything you like seriously, except yourselves.

Society, my dear, is like salt water, good to swim in but hard to swallow.

The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that still carries any reward

"Be as decent as you can. Don't believe without evidence. Treat things divine with marked respect -- don't have anything to do with them. Do not trust humanity without collateral security; it will play you some scurvy trick. Remember that it hurts no one to be treated as an enemy entitled to respect until he shall prove himself a friend worthy of affection. Cultivate a taste for distasteful truths. And, finally, most important of all, endeavor to see things as they are, not as they ought to be."

Life's too short for chess

So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence

Interestingly, according to modern astronomers, space is finite. This is a very comforting thought -- particularly for people who can never remember where they have left things.

If God wanted us to fly, He would have given us tickets.

Golf and sex are about the only things you can enjoy without being good at.

Consistency requires you to be as ignorant today as you were a year ago.

I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

Ahhh. A man with a sharp wit. Someone ought to take it away from him before he cuts himself.

The average, healthy, well-adjusted adult gets up at seven-thirty in the morning feeling just plain terrible.

You don't get anything clean without getting something else dirty.

All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.

Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you nothing. It was here first.

Don't part with your illusions. When they are gone you may still exist, but you have ceased to live.

Facts are stubborn things, but statistics are more pliable.

I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying that I approved of it.

I don't give a damn for a man that can only spell a word one way.

I have never taken any exercise except sleeping and resting.

Whatever you do will be insignificant, but it is very important that you do it.

An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.

I think it would be a good idea. (when asked what he thought of Western civilization)